|
A little over a year ago, I was getting over a hump in my life that was most part an ant hill though at the time I felt it was a mountain. I met someone online who was able to help with. My mountain seemed then but a mole hill. He was with someone else at the time we began talking. So I didn't really worry abut getting to close though our talks were very long.
A couple weeks later he IM'ed me. Asked how my situation was, I told him it was better and then well I don't know where things went from there. I found out he wasn't with the submissive any more and it was clear he was interested in me. He was sweet but I wasn't interested in having a new Dom at the time. And I told him so several times, okay MORE than several. I blocked him a couple times. But then unblocked him because I liked him as a friend.
Well, somewhere I started calling him Sir. And somewhere else I ended up his property and with a cyber collar to make sure I was faithful to him. Don't get me wrong ... I didn't nor would I ever have considered even talking to another Dom at that point. We met after 6 months. He knew I wasn't a pain slut, he knew I was really heavy into only the D/s side of this. He knew I had been trained by two sadists. He repeatedly told me that he wasn't in to that. Repeatedly told me he wouldn't ever inflict that kind of pain. He had all the right words when we talked, Which was daily. We spent many hours together online and phone. Later I realized I gave him everything he needed to Dominate me. I think part of MY very open communication skills. His door to me thinking he was Dom.
I met him at the airport. He didn't look much like his picture. But I don't think any of us really do. First place we went was to my safe calls house. Second place was to the condo he had rented for his stay. Well, of course I made some big mistakes. I played with him a few hours after we met. He played hard. But I had learned along time before him how block the pain when I needed to. How to transport my mind somewhere else. Which I learned wasn't such a good thing, I stayed n that place for nine solid days.
In front of guests the following night I was collared. That was almost as big a farce as he was. He later told people. I guess to justify himself that he knew when he stepped of the plane I wasn't what he wanted. I have cone to understand that physical and emotional abuse seem to travel together. The "play" Got harsher every night. Talking me less and less time to escape to the safe haven my mind made for my body.
I am a brat and I will admit to this. But when the time comes I do what I am supposed to what I know and what I love doing being a submissive. The brat though seemed to stay out more and more. I think somehow in some strange way she sought to protect the inner being the submissive. But that wasn't the case. It caused me more whippings and more often and more severe. Each morning there were more marks than the day before. Pain..... I don't remember feeling it that much but I do clearly remember the cuts and bruises that lasted awhile. And I remember the pain that set in once he had left and my body slipped from that safe haven. With in about 45 minutes of his departure my body was in extreme pain. There wasn't a place on me that didn't hurt. My hair even hurt.
That pain lasted 3 weeks some of the scars remain. He told others I made them myself. The worst part of this is another person (who by the way is out of the lifestyle) . Reestablished him back up as a good Dom. He isn't Dom I am not sure he even classifies as sadist. I talked to one Sadist he told me people like that are not sadist just purely venomous. I think the one thing I have to say about this is I thought I did my homework. Talking to his friends IS not who you talk to. You talk to his last submissive. Maybe even his last three or four. THEY and ONLY they can tell you what he is like. When doors are closed no one sees you are at his mercy. Doesn't matter if he is the leader of the local Cub Scout pack. If he spends time and energy for the poor. If he has rank in his church. None of those people know what he turns into when he get a tool of pleasure/pain in his hand unless they have been with him.
His sub before me found out what had happened. She apologized several times telling me I should have told you. It wasn't her fault it was mine. I cant blame it on anyone but me. I talked to two of his friends one was online and one was another Dom. He had me thinking that the relationship had ended very badly I really didn't think I would get honest answer from her. I heard she said he wasn't Dom. Boy was she right. She liked pain..... Liked it to the extreme and that he delivered just couldn't deliver the Dom part. Talk to the people they have been with. If they can't or won't tell you run. Something isn't right. Something else you might want to think about is a chaperone DON'T laugh I did this for several sessions with a new Dom. It made me feel a lot more comfortable and gives someone you trust a chance to maybe see something you aren't seeing for one reason or another.
Something else, admitting you are being or were abused is the hardest part about all of this. You think I am to smart for that to happen to me, I have done all my homework I couldn't have let anything slip by me don't EVER think you have covered everything. Until you have searched all your resources. Set up and make your safe calls. Make sure you have code words, make sure your safe call calls the police or goes there themselves if they are the least bit concerned. I think a little embarrassment goes away a lot quicker than physical and emotional scars. I wish my safe call would have known me better, She might have known I was in trouble.
|
|
